This was my class presentation. Tips or tops anyone?

Last week it was my son’s turn (10) to give his class presentation. And honestly, watching him prepare felt like watching a tiny intercultural‑communication lab in action.

Weeks before “showtime,” he was already deep into volcano books, structuring his slides, shaping his storyline. Then came the next phase: rehearsing in front of the mirror, and eventually: “I think it’s ready for your feedback now.”

Feedback as a wired phenomenon

He presented to me, my husband, his brothers, his grandparents. A full test audience. We gave him feedback on pace, clarity, what to keep, what to cut, whether to use cue cards, what to do with his hands, whether the story flowed, whether the facts landed. He even asked us for a grade. Then he took all of it away, sat with it and refined. More structure. More clarity. More weird volcano facts, “because a funny fact keeps your audience focused, mom.”

And it struck me again how much of our cultural wiring starts in our upbringing and primary school. This whole process was already drenched in feedback moments and the actual presentation hadn’t even happened yet.

Feedback is a gift…? That depends strongly on who you ask

In the Netherlands, we grow up with the idea that feedback is a gift. You ask for it. You provide it (whether people ask for it or not ;)). You use it to get better. You learn not to take it personally but turning it into improvement. You could say we are very well trained in giving and receiving feedback from a young age on. But that’s not universal. In many cultures, proactively asking for feedback isn’t part of the upbringing. Nor is offering unsolicited feedback to others, thank you very much.

Different school systems, different norms, different ideas about what “good” looks like.

And that’s where Dutch teams often miss the mark. Where we think we’re “just being open and transparent,” others may experience it as rude, blunt or arrogant. Yet in multicultural teams, we expect everyone to play by the same feedback rules. The ones we learned at age ten. Or, for some, the ones they never learned at all.

At Behind the Screens I help teams uncover these invisible cultural patterns so collaboration becomes clearer, kinder and far more effective. And it starts with yourself, because the biggest blind spot in cultural sensitivity is always our own.

Do you think you can still learn a lot about your own cultural blind spot?

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