"I am so happy you are not my manager anymore"

That was… not the sentence I expected to hear.

I had managed her for almost three years. I genuinely believed we had a strong, open, trusting working relationship. Now she was moving to another team, and during our final 1:1 I asked how she felt about the transition. She told me she was sad our collaboration was ending, but happy I wouldn’t be her manager anymore. In the split second before she continued, my mind sprinted. Did I miss something? Were there signs of miscommunication? Was I not as good at reading people as I thought? It hit me harder than I’d like to admit.

Culture is not personal

Then she explained something that surprised me even more:

“It’s not about you. You’ve been a great manager. I’m just relieved I can finally share my thoughts and concerns with you. As long as you’re my manager, I can’t afford to be fully open. Not because of trust, but because of the hierarchy. Vulnerability can always be used against you in an evaluation or when a promotion opportunity comes along. That’s just common sense, right?”

She genuinely thought I already understood this. I genuinely didn’t. And right there, between us, a cultural gap revealed itself.

And that’s when the second wave hit. The internal one.

I started investigating my own reaction. I realised I had never seen the full version of her in the three years we worked together. Did I feel a bit offended? Left out? Not trustworthy enough? Or was this simply a moment where culture, not intention, was speaking?

So we talked. We talked about the risks she perceived, what vulnerability means in different cultures, and how hierarchy shapes what people feel safe to say.

It wasn’t personal.

It was culture.

Moving forward

We unpacked the risks she felt, the assumptions I carried, and the invisible rules we had both been following without ever naming them. It turned into one of the most eye-opening conversations of my career and it led me to founding Behind the Screens.

I know these type of cultural gaps occur in so many multicultural teams on a daily basis and they affect the team's performance far more than you even realize.

I know because I have been there.

Behind the Screens helps you navigate the invisible dynamics that shape collaboration, trust, and communication in your team, long before they turn into friction.